When did you become a Christian? How did your life change?
I consider myself born a Christian, but since it is not an inherited trait but rather a decision, the moment I became a Christian was probably baptism.
My brothers and sister were all baptized right in a row--like 9, 10, 11 or something to that extent. So everyone turned their attention to me, expecting me to follow the rest of my siblings and dive right into the baptistry.
But anyone that knows me is that I tend to dig in my heels when it comes to what I am "expected" to do.
I wasn't just being stubborn--I just didn't get it. I mean, I didn't want to promise my life to a religion just because my family had told me that it was the right thing to do. I guess I could have at some point thought, well--it doesn't matter...either it is the way to salvation, or it's not...if it is, then I have that check mark next to my name; and if it's not, no skin off my back. But I didn't think I was qualified to make that decision yet.
The worst part was feeling the pressure--family was expecting me to do it and talking to me about it was bad enough....but during the invitation song, members of the church started turning around to see if I was running down the aisle. Everyone felt it was their job to ask me why I wasn't, and if there was anything to help convince me. I started feeling like I was "dirty", soiled...that people wouldn't want to be near me because I wasn't saved.
But countless people, with looks of utter concern, would ask me if I wanted to go to heaven...that if Christ came back today, I would not be chosen to be saved; that I was on the route to going to hell. I prayed every night in choking sobs for God not to let me die or for Him to come back until I was saved because I was scared out of my mind of going to hell.
When I finally did reach the decision, I was so resentful of my church and my family for putting me through that torment based on how THEY interpreted an ancient and complex text with little more knowledge then what they had been told in their own lifetimes. I hated them for it. They were telling their kids to shun me, that I was going to hell because I wasn't saved...and they couldn't even prove it!
I still hurt to this day over how they made me feel.
Anyways, spring break my freshman year in college, after studying under one of the best teachers I ever had--Dr. Crawford--I went home and got baptized. I remember coming back and telling Michael...it was drizzling and he looked genuinely puzzled because he hadn't known that I was unbaptized.
Forgive the over-emotion, but this is kind of a sore spot for me. But there it is--the story of me becoming a Christian.
~Andie~
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